Quick answer: A child who is being bullied often shows it before saying it: unexplained injuries, lost or broken belongings, frequent stomach aches, poor sleep, falling grades or reluctance to go to school. If you notice these, listen calmly, believe your child, write down what happened, speak to the school and keep following up until it stops.
Most children do not come home and say, “I am being bullied.” They feel ashamed or fear that adult help will make it worse. So it usually falls to you to notice the change and open the door.
What counts as bullying, and how common is it?
Children argue and fall out all the time. Bullying is different. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) describes it as unwanted aggressive behaviour by another young person or group, with a real or perceived imbalance of power, that is repeated or highly likely to be repeated. It can be hitting or damaging things, name-calling, spreading rumours, leaving someone out on purpose, or hurtful messages and posts online.
It is more common than many parents think:
- A UN report on 2019 UNESCO data found one in every three students subject to attacks at least once a month, and one in 10 a victim of cyberbullying. Appearance was the most common reason students gave.
- A WHO Europe study of over 279,000 young people aged 11, 13 and 15 in 44 countries and regions found about 11% had been bullied at school and 15% cyberbullied.
- In the United States, about one in five high school students were bullied on school property in the past year, says the CDC.
These are not Indian figures, but they show that a bullied child is far from alone, and that it is not a sign something is wrong with them.
What are the signs your child is being bullied?
No single sign proves bullying. Look for changes from your child’s usual self, especially several at once.
| Area | What you might notice |
|---|---|
| Body | Unexplained cuts or bruises; frequent headaches or stomach aches; feeling sick or “faking” illness on school mornings |
| Belongings | Lost or damaged clothes, books, phone or other things, often with a vague explanation |
| Sleep and eating | Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares; eating much more or much less than normal |
| School | Falling marks, loss of interest in schoolwork, excuses to stay home, wanting to change route or timing |
| Mood | Irritability, getting upset easily, talking negatively about themselves, fear of going out alone |
| Phone and online | Seeming worried when a message or call arrives; suddenly avoiding social media, or checking it constantly |
The body, belongings, sleep and school signs are listed by the CDC; the mood and online signs come from NHS guidance for parents.
Bullying is not a harmless part of growing up. The CDC links it to higher risk of depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, lower achievement, dropping out of school and self-harm. A UN report found bullied students were more than twice as likely to miss school.
What can parents do if your child is being bullied?
Pick a relaxed moment, such as a walk or a car ride, and ask gently: “You have seemed low after school lately. Has anything been happening with other children?” If your child opens up, thank them for telling you, say clearly it is not their fault, listen without interrupting and let them know you believe them. Then:
- Keep a record. Note dates, places, names and what was said or done. Save screenshots before they are deleted. A diary you fill in together helps your child feel in control.
- Talk to the school. Ask for a meeting with the class teacher or counsellor. Share your record, ask what the school will do, and agree a date to review progress.
- Keep following up. Stay calm, but keep speaking up for your child until the matter is resolved.
- Choose actions that reassure, not embarrass. Confronting the other child yourself, or creating a scene in front of classmates, can make school harder for your child.
- Build their life outside school. A hobby, sport or friendship group where they feel accepted can steady their confidence while the school situation is sorted out.
What if the bullying is happening online?
Help your child save screenshots, then block and report the accounts, tighten privacy settings and avoid replying. Taking the phone away entirely can feel like a punishment for being targeted and may stop your child telling you next time.
When should you get professional help?
Consider talking to a counsellor if your child’s low mood, fear or school refusal lasts for weeks, if sleep or eating has changed a lot, if they seem to have lost confidence in themselves, or if the bullying has stopped but they are still struggling. Counselling gives your child a private space to make sense of what happened and rebuild confidence, and gives you support as a parent too.
If your child talks about hurting themselves or not wanting to live, or you think they are in immediate danger, do not wait. Call 112 (India’s emergency number) or go to the nearest hospital emergency department.
Frequently asked questions
Friendly teasing goes both ways and stops when someone is hurt. Bullying is repeated, aimed at hurting or excluding someone, and involves an imbalance of power, so the child on the receiving end cannot easily make it stop on their own.
Children often feel ashamed, fear the bullying will get worse if adults step in, or worry that you will embarrass them at school. Watching for changes in mood, sleep, belongings and attitude to school, and asking gently, usually works better than waiting for them to raise it.
It is usually better to go through the school first. Share your written record with the teacher or school counsellor and ask what steps they will take. Direct confrontation can escalate things and may make your child feel more exposed in front of classmates.
A WHO Europe study of over 279,000 young people aged 11, 13 and 15 found that 15% had been cyberbullied. A UN report on UNESCO data found one in 10 students was a victim of cyberbullying. These are not Indian figures, but they show it is widespread.
Usually not as a first step. Taking the phone can feel like a punishment for being targeted and may stop your child telling you in future. Instead, save evidence, block and report the accounts, review privacy settings together and inform the school.
Consider counselling if low mood, anxiety, school refusal or sleep problems last for weeks, if your child talks about themselves very negatively, or if they still struggle after the bullying stops. If there is any talk of self-harm, call 112 or go to the nearest hospital emergency department.
Want support for your child or teen?
If bullying has shaken your child’s confidence, you do not have to handle it alone. Manas offers teen and young adult counselling for ages 13 to 25, online by video anywhere in India or in person at Manas Center, Ayodhya Nagar, Bhopal. Sessions are 60 minutes. To ask a question or book a time, visit our contact page.
Sources
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: About Bullying
- UN News: Violence and bullying affect one in three students, education experts warn
- WHO Europe: One in six school-aged children experiences cyberbullying
- Newcastle Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust: Bullying, information for parents and carers
Plain-language guides on mental wellbeing, based on published research. Counselling at Manas Center is led by Dr. Priya Dubey Sharma, Founder & Consulting Psychologist.
