Quick answer: To choose a counsellor, look for someone trained in talking therapy, experienced with problems like yours and clear about how they work. Ask about their approach, session length, privacy and how progress will be reviewed. Then judge the fit after one or two sessions: you should feel heard, respected and able to speak openly.
Looking for a counsellor can feel harder than the problem that made you start looking. Names on a screen tell you very little, and most people do not know what to ask. This guide gives you a simple way to compare options, the questions worth asking before you book and the signs that a counsellor is, or is not, right for you.
Why does choosing the right counsellor matter?
Counselling works through a relationship. The American Psychological Association describes the collaborative bond between a therapist and a client, called the therapeutic alliance, as central to how therapy helps, and says that good chemistry with your therapist is critical. If the fit is poor, it is not your failure; it is simply a bad fit, and changing counsellors is a normal step.
Many people need this kind of help. The World Health Organization reports that in 2023 nearly 1 in 7 people worldwide, about 1.2 billion, were living with a mental health condition, including 470 million people with an anxiety disorder and 322 million with depression. WHO also notes that only about one third of people with depression receive formal mental health care. Choosing well helps you stay with the support once you start.
What should you check before you book?
- Training: ask what qualifications and supervised training the counsellor has in psychology or talking therapy.
- Experience: ask whether they regularly work with concerns like yours, such as stress, grief, relationships or a teenager who has gone quiet.
- Approach: ask which methods they use and why they suit your situation.
- Practical details: session length, online or in person, language, timings and how to reschedule.
- Privacy: who sees your notes and when, if ever, confidentiality would be broken.
Which questions should you ask a counsellor?
A good counsellor welcomes questions. The APA suggests asking, for example, whether the therapist has experience helping people with problems like yours and whether the methods they use have been shown to work for that problem. You can use the table below as a short checklist during a first call or session.
| Question to ask | What a helpful answer sounds like |
|---|---|
| Have you worked with concerns like mine? | Specific examples of the kind of work, without sharing other people’s details |
| How do you usually work? | A plain description of the approach and why it fits you |
| How long is each session, and how often? | A clear session length and a suggested rhythm, such as weekly at first |
| How will we know it is helping? | Agreed goals and regular check-ins on progress |
| What stays confidential? | A clear explanation, including the rare safety exceptions |
| What if it does not feel right? | An open invitation to say so, and help finding someone else |
How many sessions does counselling usually take?
It depends on what you are working on, but research gives a useful guide. The APA notes that in one classic study half of patients improved after eight sessions and 75% improved after six months, and that some people begin to feel better in about six to 12 sessions. People facing long-standing or more serious difficulties may need longer support. A good counsellor will talk with you about a likely timeframe and review it with you rather than keep you coming without a plan.
What are the signs of a good fit?
- You feel listened to rather than judged or rushed.
- The counsellor explains things in words you understand.
- You agree together on what you want to change.
- Boundaries are clear: time, contact outside sessions and privacy.
- You leave most sessions with something to think about or try.
Some discomfort is normal, because counselling often touches hard feelings. Discomfort is different from feeling dismissed, pressured or unsafe.
What are the red flags?
- Promises of a certain result in a fixed number of sessions.
- Pressure to buy long packages before you have even started.
- Talking more about themselves than about you.
- Sharing details of other clients.
- Dismissing your culture, faith, family or values.
Online or in person: which should you choose?
Both can work well. Online sessions save travel time and suit people in smaller towns or with busy schedules. In-person sessions suit people who find it hard to get a private, quiet space at home. At Manas, sessions are 60 minutes and take place online by video anywhere in India or in person at the Manas Center in Ayodhya Nagar, Bhopal. Choose the format you can keep up week after week.
Frequently asked questions
If stress, worry, low mood or a relationship problem has lasted for weeks and is affecting your sleep, work or relationships, talking to a counsellor can help. You do not need to be in crisis; many people come simply because they feel stuck and want a clearer way forward.
Yes. The fit between you and your counsellor matters a great deal, and a poor fit is nobody’s fault. It is reasonable to say so, ask for a different approach, or try someone else after one or two sessions if you still do not feel comfortable.
You can start with what made you look for help now and what you would like to be different. You do not need to have everything worked out. A good counsellor will guide the conversation and help you put feelings into words at your own pace.
For many people online sessions work well, as long as you have a private space and a stable connection. The most important factors are the relationship with your counsellor and attending regularly, so pick the format you can keep up consistently over several weeks.
It varies. The American Psychological Association notes that some people feel better in about six to 12 sessions, while longer-standing problems may need more time. Agree on goals early and review progress together every few sessions so the plan stays useful.
Counselling is confidential, and a good counsellor will explain this clearly at the start. The rare exceptions usually involve a serious risk to your safety or someone else’s. Ask how notes are stored and who can see them so you know what to expect.
Ready to talk to someone?
If you are weighing up whether counselling could help, you can read about individual counselling at Manas, including what the first session is like, or learn how family counselling works when the whole household is affected. When you feel ready, you can book a session online or in Bhopal.
Sources
- American Psychological Association: Understanding psychotherapy and how it works
- World Health Organization: Mental disorders fact sheet
Plain-language guides on mental wellbeing, based on published research. Counselling at Manas Center is led by Dr. Priya Dubey Sharma, Founder & Consulting Psychologist.
